Work Fodder Summer

23 Jul

With pupils breaking up for summer and my friends off from their term time contracts, I’m finding it hard to adapt to the fact I’m going to be working the majority of this ‘British summer’. I’m going to have to watch the rare sun out of the office glazed aperture whilst now enduring a ‘proper job’ (9-5, 5 days a week). I’m used to spending the latter part of July and the entire August having self indulgent lay ins until sunset and flip-flop social gatherings.

My valued past time of summer holidays are bare feet, an office attire I cant imagine going down to well and I certainly cant lounge into work in my pants and a baggy t-shirt! An intermittent exercise is ice-lolly chomping which i don’t think will be allowed, although it could be disguised as a frozen glass of squash with a mysterious stick like handle. I may try and convince the hospital board that an onsite NHS funded Mr. Whippy would be a good incentive to keep its staff working, whilst people are out having water fights and wearing shorts (they cannot reply with an artery disease related comment because they have an onsite Burger king)! 

My work uniform will most definitely decline during the summer hours, I won’t be able to resist the crop trousers and the cliché summer fashion tops with my bra straps hanging out. I don’t even like wearing bikinis but now i am forbidden via my contract i now have an urge to raid Primark for a stringy addition, I might substitute my bras with one like a school rebel which wants to wear trainers. The half an hour morning freedom I occupy walking to work I will use to parade the shades, listen to the new 10,0000th volume of ‘Now’ album and expose my knees.

I will be missing out on moulding sandcastles, I detest the shell cinders however when the opportunity isn’t available it makes it appetising cheap excursion. The most frustrating part of my working time table will be lunch because, I won’t be able to set up a pound land BBQ with an Iceland meat multipack.

I wont continue to bore you with more summertime obstructions that I will be facing, I realise I need to forgive office hours and conform to being a working adolescent however, a huge high five to the dedicated bureau, company, department, firm, uniformed bodies.

My only option is to swallow my summer intentions and accept I am work fodder.



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